The chaos corner where merch meets strategy.
Retail Therapy Files
THIS IS WHERE I DROP…
frameworks, founder rants, merch freebies, and clarity bombs you’ll want to screenshot and forward to your entire team.
No bro-hacks. No aesthetic fluff. Just retail strategy, brand therapy, and the occasional launch trauma joke.
RTF Mini Tools
ANTI-BS POSITIONING FRAMEWORK™
For founders whose brand sounds like a TED Talk transcript. → You’ll rewrite your positioning in real words, then remix it across your LinkedIn bio, IG caption, and offer page.
THE PRODUCT ROLE MAP™
For founders with a capsule full of “vibe” but no product logic. ➝ You’ll assign clear roles to your SKUs, cut what’s extra , and tighten your merch strategy like a buyer would.
SELF-REBRAND AUDIT™
Your content’s cute, but does it still feel like you? → This tool will help you call out voice cringe, archive old identity scraps, and write a re-intro post that lands.
BUYER STORY ALIGNMENT TOOL™
Your capsule is great. Until 3 buyers read it 3 different ways. → This tool makes sure your deck hits product logic, brand POV, and consumer emotion, in one pass.
Want more like this?
Coming soon
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Coming soon \
THE VAULT IS
UNLOCKING
Inside you’ll find my unhinged merch tools, strategy worksheets, and launch sanity savers.
No bro-hacks. No beige slides. Just founder-first clarity that sells.
🖤 Want first access? Join the early list and get a bonus tool drop when the Vault opens.